I havnt been on here in a while and came across your post. I am the same age, 57 and my mother passed 12 years ago. Your story reminds me of mine and my relationship with my mom. I hadnt seen her in over a year and then when i did she was sick and dying. I was the oldest and she always resented/blamed my wife for me leaving home so young. I sit here thinking about how many times I could have gone by from work and gave her a hug and told her I loved her. Lots of regrets. I still miss her just as much today as 12 years ago. I see that your mom passed in October so I am hoping that you and your family are better now.