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It was a beautiful day today, so I rode 12 miles to the next city over, where I had an appointment to donate blood.
Everything was going splendidly. I donated a unit in 4 min 20 sec flat!
After the donation treats, I hop on the bike to head home.
After three blocks, my bike just dies.
Lucky for me, I’m literally in front of the parking lot of a GOODYEAR Tire store.
I pull into the parking lot, and I notice that not only do I have no crank, I have no lights.
Okay, that’s one of two things: bad battery, or bad fuse.
I check the fuses. They look fine.
I go into the Goodyear and ask if somebody can jump me.
A guy comes out with a jumper/charger thing, hooks it up, and I can start the bike and rev it. We’ve got 12 volts and we’re doing fine.
The guy disconnects the jumper/charger thing and goes back inside.
Bike is idling. But now there’s no response when I throttle it. I guess there’s just not enough juice in the battery to give any oomf, and the idle isn’t doing enough to rejuice the battery.
So. I phone AutoZone. It’s half a mile away. Do they have my battery? No, but they could have it tomorrow morning. No thanks. Hang on, our store in Proctorville (three miles away) has your battery in stock. Great, I’ll call them.
I call AutoZone Proctorville. I’m in a bit of a pickle, I wonder if you could help me out? I need a battery, and I was wondering if you could bring it to me. I’m three miles away at the Goodyear. After ten minutes on hold, they say yes. I give them the battery information. Is the POS on the right or the left? It’s on the right. Okay. About how big is the battery? Um. It’s about five inches wide, maybe three inches thick? Okay, we’re on our way.
Twenty minutes later a nice AutoZone employee shows up, hands me the battery. It looks good, but it’s the wrong size. It’s an inch too wide and an inch too short. Back on the phone for another twenty minutes. I borrow a tape measure from Goodyear. We measure the battery (I was real close: 5 and one eighth wide, three and a quarter thick. And 6 and a half tall.) and AutoZone employee takes BOTH batteries and heads back to Proctorville.
Maybe 45 minutes later? a different AutoZone employee shows up. The battery fits! Yay! I thank him for his kindness. He leaves.
No crank. No lights.
I notice that on this battery, POS is on the LEFT. Great.
I hook the battery up backwards so it’s leaning halfway out the side of the bike, but now at least POS is on the proper side.
No crank. No lights.
I check the fuses again: MAIN is busted. Because I had hooked the battery up backwards at first.
Goodyear has a 15A fuse! They give it to me, plus a spare!
Crank! Lights! Action!
I gear up again and pull out of the parking lot and hear a horrible but brief grunching sound. I pull over. No sign of anything. Silly me, I had left my side kickstand down. The grunching sound was the pavement retracting it for me.
All told, I sat in that parking lot for 2.5 hours, and received the kindness of a minimum of six people from four different businesses.
Now the question is, what do I do with my backwards battery? I could rig it so it sets right in the spot and makes the right connections, or I could go out and buy the RIGHT battery and return (maybe?) the wrong one.
Everything was going splendidly. I donated a unit in 4 min 20 sec flat!
After the donation treats, I hop on the bike to head home.
After three blocks, my bike just dies.
Lucky for me, I’m literally in front of the parking lot of a GOODYEAR Tire store.
I pull into the parking lot, and I notice that not only do I have no crank, I have no lights.
Okay, that’s one of two things: bad battery, or bad fuse.
I check the fuses. They look fine.
I go into the Goodyear and ask if somebody can jump me.
A guy comes out with a jumper/charger thing, hooks it up, and I can start the bike and rev it. We’ve got 12 volts and we’re doing fine.
The guy disconnects the jumper/charger thing and goes back inside.
Bike is idling. But now there’s no response when I throttle it. I guess there’s just not enough juice in the battery to give any oomf, and the idle isn’t doing enough to rejuice the battery.
So. I phone AutoZone. It’s half a mile away. Do they have my battery? No, but they could have it tomorrow morning. No thanks. Hang on, our store in Proctorville (three miles away) has your battery in stock. Great, I’ll call them.
I call AutoZone Proctorville. I’m in a bit of a pickle, I wonder if you could help me out? I need a battery, and I was wondering if you could bring it to me. I’m three miles away at the Goodyear. After ten minutes on hold, they say yes. I give them the battery information. Is the POS on the right or the left? It’s on the right. Okay. About how big is the battery? Um. It’s about five inches wide, maybe three inches thick? Okay, we’re on our way.
Twenty minutes later a nice AutoZone employee shows up, hands me the battery. It looks good, but it’s the wrong size. It’s an inch too wide and an inch too short. Back on the phone for another twenty minutes. I borrow a tape measure from Goodyear. We measure the battery (I was real close: 5 and one eighth wide, three and a quarter thick. And 6 and a half tall.) and AutoZone employee takes BOTH batteries and heads back to Proctorville.
Maybe 45 minutes later? a different AutoZone employee shows up. The battery fits! Yay! I thank him for his kindness. He leaves.
No crank. No lights.
I notice that on this battery, POS is on the LEFT. Great.
I hook the battery up backwards so it’s leaning halfway out the side of the bike, but now at least POS is on the proper side.
No crank. No lights.
I check the fuses again: MAIN is busted. Because I had hooked the battery up backwards at first.
Goodyear has a 15A fuse! They give it to me, plus a spare!
Crank! Lights! Action!
I gear up again and pull out of the parking lot and hear a horrible but brief grunching sound. I pull over. No sign of anything. Silly me, I had left my side kickstand down. The grunching sound was the pavement retracting it for me.
All told, I sat in that parking lot for 2.5 hours, and received the kindness of a minimum of six people from four different businesses.
Now the question is, what do I do with my backwards battery? I could rig it so it sets right in the spot and makes the right connections, or I could go out and buy the RIGHT battery and return (maybe?) the wrong one.
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