Just for fun, because I can.

[earlfor]

A guy took his blonde girlfriend to her first foot ball game. They had great seats right behind their team's bench. After the game, he asked her how she liked the experience. OH, I really liked it she replied, especially the cute guys with all the big muscles, but I just couldn't understand why they were killing each other over 25 cents. Dumbfounded, her boyfriend asked, what do you mean? She replied. I saw them flip a coin and one team got it. Then for the rest of the game, all they kept screaming was, get the quarterback, get the quarterback!

[oldGSfan]

Nice - I'll pile on...

A man had 50 yard line tickets at the Super Bowl. As he sits down, another man comes down and asks if anyone is sitting in the seat next to him. "No," he says, "The seat is empty." "This is incredible!" said the man. "Who in their right mind would have a seat like this for the Super Bowl and not use it?" The first man says, "Well, actually, the seat belongs to me. I was supposed to come with my wife, but she passed away. This is the first Super Bowl we haven 't been to together since we got married in 1987."
"Oh . . . I'm sorry to hear that. That's terrible. But couldn't you find someone else - - a friend or relative, or even a neighbor to take the seat?"
The man shakes his head. "No, they're all at the funeral."

[earlfor]

Nice - I'll pile on...

A man had 50 yard line tickets at the Super Bowl. As he sits down, another man comes down and asks if anyone is sitting in the seat next to him. "No," he says, "The seat is empty." "This is incredible!" said the man. "Who in their right mind would have a seat like this for the Super Bowl and not use it?" The first man says, "Well, actually, the seat belongs to me. I was supposed to come with my wife, but she passed away. This is the first Super Bowl we haven 't been to together since we got married in 1987."
"Oh . . . I'm sorry to hear that. That's terrible. But couldn't you find someone else - - a friend or relative, or even a neighbor to take the seat?"
The man shakes his head. "No, they're all at the funeral."

heh. I like it.

[argonsagas]

Researchers for the Massachusetts Turnpike Authority found almost 200 dead crows near greater Boston recently, and there was concern that they may have died from covid 19..

A Bird Pathologist examined the remains of all the crows, and, to everyone’s relief, confirmed the problem was definitely NOT covid 19 or even covid-related.

The cause of death appeared to be vehicular impacts, however, during the detailed analysis it was noted that varying colours of paints appeared on the bird’s beaks and claws.

This was very puzzling, but by analyzing the paint residues it was determined that 98% of the crows had been killed by impact with trucks, while only 2% were killed by an impact with a car.


MTA then hired an Ornithological Behaviourist to determine if there was a cause for the disproportionate percentages of truck kills versus car kills.


The ornithological expert investigated and soon determined the cause.
The expert explained that crows very often eat road kill and while doing this they always have a look-out crow in a nearby tree to warn of impending danger. however, while all the lookout crows could loudly say “Cah”, not a single one could say “Truck.”