Today is the worst day in my life.

[JEEPRUSTY]

I am so very sorry for your loss. The thought of losing my mother makes me cry.

"They weep here. For how the world goes, and our life that passes. Touches their hearts"

Somewhere in the Aeneid

[machinest]

Condolences and prayers.Paul

[salty_monk]

Sorry to hear that mate... Chin up & ride safe (you're probably a tad distracted right now, keep that in mind when you go out).

[jwhelan65]

So sorry josh, I don't know what to say? hang in there

[cbxchris]

Prayers coming your way.......my condolences.

[alke46]

What a heart-wrenching story. I don't know how you found the strength to write it, but I hope it helps you in this time of need.

It is truly hard to lose a Mother. I lost mine 6 years ago and still could see her clearly while reading your story. So sad and I wish you the very best in the future as your life and the lives of your family do indeed go on..

Have faith and keep up the strength to continue day by day.

God bless you and your family.

Larry

[mighty13d]

We may not be blood, but we are all family on here. We argue like brothers and sisters, we like to brag and boast, but when it all comes down to it, you know that we are all here for you. If I was close, I would love to get together and take a ride in her honor sometime.

[crag antler]

Josh, even though we have never met, you are a brother to me.
Nothing I can say can even touch the pain and sadness. I can only give you my friendship and best wishes and prayer.
I know some of the pain but wish you and your family, the best ,thru these trying times.

Doug

[1948man]

Josh, I am really sorry for what you are experiencing. It's hard to lose any family member especially your mother. Praying for you and your family.

[hikermikem]

I'm sorry for your loss Josh, thanks for sharing so much of yourself at a time when I'm sure this all seems like a bad dream.

my condolences to you & your family.

mike

[lucabond]

My condolences.

[jpaul]

Sorry for your loss.

[Dave8338]

WOW...sorry to hear that Josh. That sudden death thing hits me hard as well. You will meet again. Peace............................................. ........

[MassJosh]

Sorry for your loss

[TheCafeKid]

Thanks to you all.

It's not much to say, considering the outpouring of support from all of you, some of whom I've never even met. It has helped steady my shaky hand considerably. Once again, this site and the people on it continue to impress upon me the fact that, GS or not, we are truly family.

Today has been without question the absolute hardest day of my life. I've had to face people that I have never wanted to see me in the condition that I've been in all day. I've had to talk about things I had hoped I'd never have to, to people I don't even know. I've had to watch the people closest to me disolve from pillars that I have leaned on many times into inconsolable weeping messes. In turn I've had to harden myself to be pillars for them when they've needed to be propped up. And there will be more of these days over the next few.

I have tried to occupy myself with distraction as much as I can the last few hours. Every time I allow my mind to wander, I keep replacing this mornings events, wondering if it actually happened. Wondering HOW it could happen. I still don't feel as though I've fully grasped the situation. It may not happen til tomorrow. It may not happen till the first holiday without her. I cannot imagine, as much as my heart is broken, how my stepdad is feeling. Tonight, he is home, for the first time in a long time, without his wife there. My brother will be there soon, and I offered to stay over, or for him to stay with us. He would have none of it. But I cannot imagine what it is that is going through his mind. As much as I hurt, it's a different thing for him.

Today Rose and I went for a ride with him. And like he said, it was helpful simply to have to concentrate on something. And the funny thing is, I rode better and harder today than I have all year. As many of you know, Rose and I went down earlier this year, and since then, I have been battling demons that have me second guessing myself pushing hard in corners. I haven't honestly enjoyed my riding much this year because of it. It's been all in my head, and something that I will have to work through. Overthinking instead of just riding by feel, which is usually when I'm riding my fastest and smoothest. But today, for the first time this year, be it because I was in some part of my subconscious distracted, or numb or emotionally overloaded, I not only enjoyed riding, but riding hard and pushing in corners again. It was possibly the best therapy I've ever given myself. For that couple of hours, this entire day was just a haze as I concentrated on seeing and feeling the line, body posture, and smooth tip in and throttle control....it's times like these that I realize, for as much pain as these machines have caused the lot of us this year, I simply could not exist without one...