Any Harley's here?

[Bert Patterson]

Harleys today are fine for what they are. I don't want what they are, because that's not how I ride.

One thing Harley has going for it is the number of people who hit 40 or so and want a Harley. They've never had a motorcycle and they don't even want a motorcycle, they want a Harley. You never see that with any other brand. Granted, these are virtually all people who go for the occasional putt and never really learn to ride beyond that, but they will pay the money for a new Harley and walk past everything else.

[850 Combat]

Not sure I'd would they are necessarily rich. I have heard Harley has (or had) a very liberal lending/ financing program.

They did have a liberal lending policy, and they asked for a bank bailout over it like GMAC did, which they received. Then came out with a forget the financial crisis - Just Ride add campaign. It good advice from a company that has gone to the government for protection 3 times that I know of, and has received it twice. When I read the add, I thought You go ride, while we cry to mommy again.

I read that they went to uncle sam back when for protection against British manufacturers, but didn't receive any. I don't have documentation on that currently though.

[Octain]

Rich wannabes with more money than sense.

I'm far from rich.
It's a damned motorcycle for goodness sakes.

[83GS1100E_Tornado]

Harley Davidson Short Jokes

Q: What does HOG stand for?
A: Heavyset Old Geezers

Q: Why did they decide to call it the "Harley Owners Group?"
A: Because the term "Special Ed" was already taken.

Q: Why are Harley's some of the safest bikes on the road?
A: You can't go fast enough to hurt yourself....

Q: Did you hear about the harley rider that broke his arm while playing golf?
A: He fell off the ball washer!

Q: What do you call a Harley that doesn't leak oil?
A: Empty!

Q: What do you call ten Harley owners lined up ear to ear?
A: Wind tunnel.

Q: Why did the Harley owner cross the road?
A: He couldn't get his dick out of the chicken.

Q: Why did the Harley owner couple decide to have only 4 children?
A: They'd read in the newspaper that one out of every five babies born in the world today is Chinese.

Q: How do you tell which is the Groom at a Harley owner wedding?
A: He's the one with the CLEAN mechanic’s shirt.

Q: How do you stop a Harley owner on horseback?
A: Unplug the carousel.

Q: What do you do if a Hell's Angel throws a hand-grenade at you?
A: Take the pin out and throw it back.

Q: What do you do if a Hell's Angel throws a pin at you?
A: Run like hell - he's still got a hand-grenade between his teeth.

Q: How do you get a Harley owner out of the bath tub?
A: Throw in a bar of soap and get out of the way.

Q: How do you break a Harley owner’s finger?
A: Kick him in the butt.

Q: What's the smallest room in the world?
A: The Harley Davidson Hall of Fame.

Q: Why do Harley owner dogs have flat noses?
A: From chasing parked cars.

Q: How do you confuse a Harley owner?
A: Put him in a round room and tell him to **** in the corner.

Q: What do you get when you have 32 Harley owners in the same room?
A: A full set of teeth.

Q: How do you tell if a Harley rider has had sex?
A: His middle finger is clean.

Q: What's the difference between a Harley Davidson and a Hoover vacuum cleaner?
A: The Harley has room for two dirtbags on board.

Q: How is a Harley Davidson like a Porcupine?
A: Both have pricks on their back.

Q: How is a Harley Davidson like an old dog?
A: They both like to ride in the back of pickup trucks.

Q: What is the difference between a Harley Davidson and an old dog?
A: The dog can get in the back of the pickup by itself.

Q: A Harley owner and a NASCAR fan get in a fight, who wins?
A: Everyone else!

Q: What's the happiest day in a Harley rider's life?
A: When they discover that they can use Right Guard under their left arm.

Q: What do you have when you put 10,000 Harley Davidson motorcycles on the bottom of the ocean?
A: A good start.

Q: Where do you put money to hide it from a harley rider?
A: In the bathroom...under the soap.

Q: Why are there only two pallbearers at a Harley funeral.
A: Garbage cans only have two handles!

Q: What is the most common accessory for Harleys'?
A: A pick-up truck.

Q: Why do harley riders never ride faster than 50mph?
A: Any faster and they can't see where the parts fell off.

Q: Why do harley riders chrome all their parts?
A: It makes them easier to spot on the side of the road.

Did you hear about the Harley owner who put Odor Eaters in his new riding boots?
Two days later, he disappeared.


Harley Davidson Bar Jokes

Albert Einstein

Albert Einstein arrives at a dinner party. He introduces himself to the first person he sees and asks, "What's your IQ?"
The man answers, "189."
"That is wonderful!" says Albert. "We will talk about the Grand Unification Theory and the mysteries of the universe. We will have much to discuss!"
Next, Albert introduces himself to a woman and asks, "What's your IQ?"
The lady answers, "143."
"That is great!" responds Albert. "We can discuss politics and current affairs. We will have much to discuss!"
Albert goes to another person and asks, "What's your IQ?"
The man answers, "58."
Albert's face lights up as he exclaims, "So you're the one who rides the Harley parked out front!"

God & Arthur Davidson

The inventor Arthur Davidson, of the Harley Davidson Motorcycle Corporation, died and went to heaven.
At the gates, St. Peter told Arthur,"Since you've been such a good man and your Motorcycles have changed the world,your reward is, you can hang out with anyone you want in Heaven."
Arthur thought about it for a minute and then said, "I want to hang out with God."
St. Peter took Arthur to the Throne Room, and introduced him to God.
Arthur then asked God, "Hey, aren't you the inventor of women?
"God said, "Ah, yes. "
"Well, " said Arthur, "professional to professional, you have some major design flaws in your invention."
God was somewhat taken back, and when He asked what the flaws might be, Arthur Davidson produced a list for Him to read.

1. There's too much inconsistency in the front-end protrusions
2. It chatters constantly at high speeds.
3. Most of the rear ends are too soft and wobble too much.
4. The intake is placed way to close to the exhaust and finally,
5. The maintenance costs are outrageous.

"Hmmmm, you may have some good points there and it may be true that My invention is flawed... " God said to Arthur.
"But the last time that I checked, more men are riding My invention than yours."

The Dishes


A young man has always dreamed of owning a Harley Davidson. One day he has finally saved up enough money so he goes down to the dealer. After picking out the perfect bike, the dealer asks if he would like some extra chrome protection added to the bill. The young man is upset because he does not have the extra money, and is now afraid that the chrome will rust as soon as it gets wet. The dealer tells him not to worry. There is an old biker trick that will keep the chrome like new. All he has to do is to keep a jar of Vaseline handy and put it on the chrome before it rains - and everything will be fine. The young man happily pays for the bike and leaves.
A few months later, the young man meets a woman and falls in love. She asks him to come home and meet her parents over dinner. He readily agrees and the date is set. At the appointment time, he picks her up on his new Harley and they ride to her parents house. Before they go in, she tells him that they have a family tradition that whoever speaks first after dinner must do the dishes.
After a delicious dinner everyone sits in silence waiting for the first person to break and get stuck doing the dishes. After a long fifteen minutes, the young man decides to speed things up, so he reaches over and kisses the woman in front of her family. And no one says a word.......
Next he decides to take a more direct approach, so he throws her on the table and makes love to her in front of everyone. And no one says a word.....
Now he is getting desperate, so he grabs her mother and throws her on the table. They have even wilder relations. Yet no one says a word.....
By now he is getting very worried and is thinking what to do next when he hears thunder in the distance. His first thought is to protect the chrome on his new Harley, so he reaches in his pocket and pulls out his jar of Vaseline.

And the father says "Never mind! I'll do the dishes!"

[Scout]

Not sure why people hate H-D so much. Funny jokes but old material. Try a Harley sometime Tornado, you just might like it

[tkent02]

I rode one a couple months ago. You can have them.

[koolaid_kid]

I like the way the naked bikes look, and I like the sound as long as they have stock pipes. AFA riding them, I have never even considered riding any cruiser. Not the American or Japanese twins, or the Japanese early 4 cylinder cruisers (known as L models for GS Suzukis).
Most of my dislike is for the posers. I can pass by certain areas of town and see dozens of cruisers parked at bars. Not riding, just saying "here I am, I have the uniform". And the parades. I was at the Dragon one year and had to follow a parade all the from Lookout Point way down to the Dragon's Tail. They were riding two abreast and talking as they went 5-10 miles an hour all the way down. Boring.

[trevor]

Not sure why people hate H-D so much. Funny jokes but old material. Try a Harley sometime Tornado, you just might like it

I took a new one from a dealer for a ride last year. Thought I was driving a Massey Ferguson

[Allie]

I don't care what anyone says, I still want an XR1200. Or an old XR750...

[Octain]

I don't care what anyone says, I still want an XR1200. Or an old XR750...

I don't care what anyone says either. I could sell my Harley and buy 10 old jap bikes with the money. But why would I wanna do that?
If it's what ya want, it's what ya want, period.

[Octain]

I rode one a couple months ago. You can have them.

Yeah we know, you said that. BUt what you fail to mention is which one you rode.

[tkent02]

I don't know. Big huge chrome monstrocity with the running boards and bags and the fairing. Beautiful shiny thing. Super smooth clutch pull, probably because the clutch lever weighs about 8 lbs. Great acceleration from 0 to about 16mph in first gear. After that not too impressive. Takes a couple seconds to shift a gear. Ground down the floorboards doing a U turn in the neighborhood. Tried a few more gentle curves, no go.

What I don't understand is it idled really nice? So why all the throttle blipping?

I prefer fast cornering to 0 - 16 mph acceleration.

Yeah, I'll pass.

[Octain]

They're not all as you describe you know? I know what you're talking about and I agree with ya.
Not for me neither which is why I don't own one.

[Allie]

A friend let me ride his, I don't know what it was but it had a lot of letters in the name. Cruisers aren't really my style but it was nice, smooth, accelerated effortlessly and without drama, and didn't really feel cumbersome to me for general street riding. Kind of neat, I wouldn't mind trying one for a day. Doubt I'd abandon my GS for one.

[wally]

Well, mine isn't really Harley, but Harley derived...

I love my Uly - with all it's quirks!


Hydraulic, self-adjusting valves, belt drive... maintenance is real easy!

I do have a liking in the new 883 Irons. I think they got the proportions and styling right. i wouldn't mind one - even though I have been a Suzuki rider for lots of years.

There is something magic about the sound of a big twin purring long at cruising speed. And my Uly handles really well!